This uneasy feeling
I hate this uneasy feeling I get whenever I have to fight with Sean to go to school in the morning.
We were doing so well.. HE was doing so well. Even though he was getting to bed kinda late, he was still (with some prodding and poking) getting up fairly easily every morning. At least easily for Sean. He has never been a morning person, never easy to wake up. He’s much like me that way. I hate waking up in the morning. I can’t remember the last time I got out of bed without first hitting snooze at least twice. I use my cell phone as my alarm, I’ve been doing this for years because I don’t hear regular alarm clocks, but I hear the ringing of a phone… well, my current phone doesn’t ring when the alarm goes off, but it does make an annoying sound that’s enough to wake me, at least for a few seconds, until I turn it off and fall immediately back to sleep. lol
Anyways, Sean is like me that way. Takes some time to get him out of bed. Time, patience, a little joking around… he does NOT respond well to being yelled at first thing in the morning. I don’t respond well to being told “no”, or ignored first thing in the morning. Perhaps you can see where this is going?
So we fight. I threaten to take away all the things he loves the most – his iPod, his DS, PS3, Xbox/360, Wii, PC… it wasn’t until I got to his Nerf guns that he got really upset. haha The kid loves his guns!
Long story short, he eventually got up and got dressed with 10 minutes to go before he had to leave for school. It doesn’t take him long so I wasn’t worried. He ate his breakfast, brushed his teeth. His friend Blake came to the door. He waited while Sean finished getting ready, then off they went.
I got a kiss and hug. I told the boy I love him. He seemed sad. It made me feel sad.
A few minutes later I realized that, on good days, he’s too busy talking to Blake, or telling me about something he’s dreamed up in his head, to give me the kind of hug and kiss I got this morning. The hug and kiss I got this morning was the same one I get when we’ve gotten into it over something and he calls me names, then feels bad. I think if Blake wasn’t here Sean would’ve cried before leaving. This is why I have that uneasy feeling. I sent my boy off to school feeling sad. I don’t like doing that.
He’s probably forgotten all about it by now. I’m sure he cheered up some when he got to school and saw his other friends, and the girl he’s had a crush on for ages now.
Not me. I’ll sit here drinking coffee and playing Cafe World on Facebook (yeah, don’t judge me!) and feel uneasy. This feeling will stay with me all day, I know it will. I’ve been here before. I’ll try to do a number of things to help get my mind off it, but it won’t work. Then he’ll come home and, hopefully, be in a great mood (he usually is when he gets home from school) and that’s when I’ll feel better. I’ll give him a big hug and kiss, tell him I love him and I’ll feel much better.
Until bedtime, where the possibility of more fighting and uneasy feelings is huge! *sigh*
