Deanna Slater

The title of this blog is thanks to Suicidal Tendencies and their song of the same name:

Though I like the song, it’s not one of my favourites.   This next one IS one of my favourites, though:

We used to listen to these guys all the time.  I still throw them on every now and then, but it’s all old stuff… I don’t even know if there IS new stuff.  :S

Anyways, this blog isn’t about Suicidal Tendencies.  I got the urge to write something, I’m sitting here with a cold, all snotty and stuffed up and sounding awful – aka feeling like shit, and that song title popped into my head as a good blog title.  I almost always have trouble with the blog titles.

When I logged on here a couple weeks ago I was surprised to see there had been visits to my blog recently.  And then just now when I logged in again I found MORE visits.  What’s up with that?  Who are these people visiting a blog I frequently abandon?  lol

The 2nd to last blog I posted was pretty emotional.  For me, anyways.  I typed it all out, hit publish and forgot all about it.  I wrote my last blog quick-like, just to sort of wrap things up, then went away again, as I so often do.  I’m just not a very dedicated blogger.

Since that 2nd to last blog, I’ve gotten much better.  It’s like I passed over some invisible line, with the one year anniversary of my Mom’s death.

Scott and I went out to the chapel and paid her a visit that day. I cried more than I expected to.  I thought I was mostly all cried out and could handle it just fine, be the tough girl my Mom raised me to be. There have been many deaths in my family over the years, and thinking about it now, I never saw my Mom shed one tear for any of them.  Not her Dad, not her Mom.  She was a tough lady, my Mom, and I miss her terribly.

It’ll be 1 year and 2 months tomorrow.  When that 1 year mark was hit, I felt better… the farther away we get from it, the more I can feel myself slipping back into that awful state of…  whatever it was.  Disbelief?  Denial?  I dunno, but I find myself once again being kind of caught off guard when the thought hits me that I’ll never speak to my Mom again.  It’s still crazy to me.  But, it makes sense, I suppose.  For 35 years, my Mom was there.  We fought, we weren’t always speaking to each other during those 35 years (and I really don’t remember the first 5 years haha), but she was always there nonetheless.   And now, she’s not.

It sucks, but that’s life.  Moving on…

The kids have been back to school for a month now and everything is going good so far.  Both kids have nice teachers.  We had Sean’s Meet the Teacher night 2 weeks ago, and Ashley’s tonight.  I already know Sean’s teacher, from all the time spent at his school for various reasons, and he had some dealings with her last year when he was on the track team.  Ashley’s teacher, haven’t a clue about her except what Ashley tells me.  Same goes for her school pretty much.  I’m just not in touch with that part of her life as I used to be… and next year, the same will be said for Sean.  I’m mostly ok with that, it’s just weird.

Steve Jobs died today.  :(  I’m no fan girl or anything but I’m aware of his contribution to the world.  And I love my iPhone.  :)

Scott is completely back to work now.  Doing his old job, before the broken leg, getting his old pay.  It’s a good feeling.  Feels like everything is getting back on track.

So….  yeah.  There is no point to this blog.  Just felt like throwing some stuff out there.  Especially since people are checking in!  lol  (Who ARE you crazy people?  Seriously!)

Before I’m done, I can’t resist one more Suicidal song:

:D